Saturday, October 28, 2006

Lady-Killer (Well, for this lady, at least)

Before I give birth to two more girls and the reigning king of our castle gets lost in the "middle child" moat, I have to share some of the current quirks of my three-year old. (Keep in mind that this blog is the most "journal" writing I've done in years, so for those of you who tire of reading about my kids, to you I say: Genealogy, I am doing it!)

Here is a list (I can't stop making them right now) of things that can tear out my heart and melt it at the same time:

*The pictures in this post were taken the first day we managed to talk Ethan into wearing his sportcoat to church. You must know this about him: pickiest kid to dress ever. Mila has never said one word about any of her clothes. The girl will wear anything I put on her bed. (Sort of to my detriment now--she still wants me to pick out even her pj's every night.) Not so with my son! For a while, he only wanted to wear green because green was his favorite color in the world. Then a certain Cars movie came out, and green became the bad color because Chick is green and he's bad. Red was the new "it" color. He also hates wearing anything new. Hence the struggle with the coat. After Ben finally got it on him, he said what he always says in a new ensemble: "Everyone is going to look at me! You better not let them look at me!" We told him that they wouldn't be able to help it because he is so handsome. This made him more angry and he started being completely irrational. "If I wear this, they are going to throw me out of the church!" I'm pretty sure no one has ever been thrown out of the church by any sort of fashion police, but I could be wrong.

*Recently, if I ever try to enforce a house rule, Ethan will threaten me in some way. There have been the expected "I'm not going to love you tomorrow"s, the more extreme "I'm going to go and play in the street"s and my personal favorite: "Mom?!! Do you want me to turn you into a duck?!!" Try to imagine me, trying to reply with a dead-panned "Yes, Ethan, I would like you to turn me into a duck."

*We are not allowed to use the word "hate" in our house, and so Ethan has gotten around this creatively by using the phrase "I don't love...," such as "I don't love cleaning up my cars," or "I don't love broccoli." So trust me, there are many things that he doesn't love and if you are one of them, I am so sorry.

*One day, over Play-doh, Ethan informed his pre-school class that he had Potty Power. Apparently he was quite elitist about it and not very thrilled with other kids who did not have the same "gift." When his teacher asked me if it was some method I was using, I was sort of embarassed to tell her that it was, in fact, a DVD. But a dang good one, and I highly recommend it.

*He calls Ben by his first name. I don't know why, but it's become so funny to me. "Where's Ben? Is he at work? Ben? Are you home? Oh hi, Ben--when did you get here? Ben, why are you so heh**?"

*He really says the sweetest things. Yesterday morning when he pulled me out of bed in the pitch black (darn you, last days before Daylight Savings!) he asked, "Where are your glasses? I love your glasses. They are beautiful--you are beautiful, Mom!" If you saw me in the morning, wearing my glasses and my special hairdos with my big ol' body, I'm pretty sure there are 100 adjectives that might cross your mind before "beautiful". And that is why I love this kid. He also loves to kiss, hug, and snuggle with me, especially after watching Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses. He was extra "charming" that day, and I believe he even asked Phoebe Clark if he could kiss her.

So that's my little guy. In some ways, I'm a little afraid of him because he is an outward manifestation of all of the crazy things I try to hide from the world about myself: my temper, my impatience, my stubbornness, my flair for the overdramatic, my large mouth and teeth... He's my little Id, while Mila's my Superego. It's like having those little angel and devil people on your shoulder coming to life as a 6 and 3 year old and walking around your house. It may sound crazy, but I swear it's true! It's also pretty awesome, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

** A "Smith" adjective, used to describe something that is amusing instead of laughing at it. Am I right about that, guys? I'm trying to get Ben to write a blog with a glossary of all the words.