Excuse Shopping

I need a new one. My standby for the past two and a half years has been, "I can't. I have twins." It's been awesome. I use it for everything:

"Mom, can I have friends over?"
"I have twins, sorry."

"Can you be a soccer coach/room mom/playgroup coordinator?"
"Well, I sure would, if I didn't have these twins."

"Honey, you're looking hot tonight..."
"Um, twins..."

It's gotten out of hand recently.

"Can you make me a sandwich?"
"No, I have twins."

"I can't find my shoes!"
"Twins!"

"Mom, why can't I go further out into the ocean?"
"BECAUSE I HAVE TWINS!"

The last exchange happened only yesterday. Pathetic, I know, but valid, right? If Ethan started drowning and I went to save him, who would hold the clingy twins on their lap?

So, I'm thinking that when the twins hit three in November, people are not going to let me get away with my favorite excuse any more. Any ideas of what I can say to get out of the next three years? Otherwise, skeptics or no, I'm sticking with this one, at least until they're 18.

"There's always money in the Banana Stand."*

If you happen to be at Provo's Farmers Market on a summer Saturday, and you also happen to have a hankering for a chocolate-dipped frozen banana, well then you are in luck, my friend! "The Banana Stand" is open for business this summer, and it will make all of your chocolate banana dreams come true! If you do stop by, this is what you might see:

The awesome homemade sign.

The products, brought to you in three mouthwatering varieties.**

The help, wearing awesome banana aprons.**

A little girl with glasses, earning the bananas her mom eats.

Some of us just sit around and eat sandwiches because we're grumpy.

Others dance in the rain wearing awesome banana skirts.

Some of us are smokin' hot and model Banana Stand tie-dyed t-shirts.

While others found a "Secret Sauce" booth with steak Shish Kabobs...

...and can't stop eating them.

Seriously, help me, because I'm addicted.

That is one satisfied customer (of the bananas, not the meat, cuz I'm not sharing, are you crazy?!)

So stop on by and if you say, "Hailey sent me here to get my banana on," I'm pretty sure you could get a dollar off! I don't know if that's true, but wouldn't it be funny if you went there and said that? I would totally give you a discount...

*If you know what unparalleled television comedy this line comes from, it would be worth a frozen banana, on me!

**Photography by Travis

Pigtails and Single Ladies

It's harder than you would think to get them to sit still that long.

This video makes me happy because it's filled with people I love:

We Thrillionaires enjoy ALL the performing arts. Maclain's level of commitment is stellar. Unfortunately, I just barely missed their rendition of "Poker Face."

Thursday Morning Confession

I haven't seen my laundry room floor in over six months.

What's one of your dirty little secrets?

"Send" and "Don't Die"

These videos are from our Thrillionaires show last Saturday night. The first one is Scott Champion and Julia Jolley singing "Send," a completely improvised song that is also an instant message conversation. It is amazingly brilliant, and pretty much why I do improv (you might recognize Scott as "Jonathan" from this.) The second clip is me singing "Don't Die" to Brett Merritt. This was a song title the audience gave us and we had to incorporate it somewhere in the musical. You can see more of our songs from the night on youtube. Just search under "Thrillionaires." I have to admit, after watching myself in these videos, I realize that a) It looks like I am ALWAYS laughing (I kind of am, although, in my defense, I really thought Brigham was going to start playing right after I yelled, "You have to get better for us!") and b) My speaking voice is really kind of aggravating. I think I need to use my "man" voice because what I think is my normal voice is actually painfully silly sounding. Oh well.

Keeping the Blues Away...

'Nuff said.


I am constantly thinking about cheeseburgers for some reason. Maybe it's because my dad told me In-N-Out is coming my way soon. Also, Five Guys, Chadder's, and some place called Stumpy's have all already moved in to the neighborhood.

Our extended family is obsessed with a game called "Werewolf." I recently taught it to my friends and created lots of new addicts to come play with me! (Too bad it takes me three days to recover from the loss of sleep.)

This show IS summer to me. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Finally, this video has kept me laughing all week:

I'm a good daughter...

VOTE for my mom's blog! It is not hard to do, and it will make her very happy which, in turn, will make me happier when I go visit her for two weeks in July and she can talk about how many people were nice enough to vote for her, instead of how I was a bad daughter by not telling my friends to vote for my mom. We all win! So vote for Swaneesinger! (That's her blog.)

See? She's used to winning stuff! (Don't make her mad!)

Sti-sti-sti-sticker Face, Sti-sti-sticker Face!