"You know what? Money can't buy happiness."
A pause. Then,
"But Nature can."
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
The girls have begun exhibiting some disturbing behavior that I like to refer to as "All-Out Mama Brawling." Basically, they both charge me and fight over which one gets to be picked up, if I'm standing up, or, if I'm sitting down, it's who can get closest to my face. In their effort to accomplish these aforementioned goals, they bust out their best pinching, hitting, pushing, and eventually biting moves to knock the other girl out of competition. I am totally caught in the middle and it's like breaking up a dog fight, meaning that I usually suffer some casualties in the process. If I stand up and walk away, they both run after me screaming, trying to get closest to my legs. They do this no less than 15 times a day. Even now, I'm hurriedly typing this because the Wiggles caught their attention long enough for me to make an escape. I suppose I should be somewhat flattered--I haven't had two people fight over me so passionately since high school, and even then, I never saw those boys pinch or bite each other once (at least not in my presence.)
So, what am I supposed to do about this? I already broke down the cage, er, playpen, and asking them to "use words" to achieve world peace is futile, since they only have like three words and they are "mama," "mine," and "no," all clearly unhelpful in this situation. I have heard from other moms of twins who have gone before me one of two things: 1)The first twelve months are the hardest, or 2) No way, 12-18 months is the hardest. I'd like to go on the record by saying that they are all wrong, and they must have sedated themselves or sent their twins to boarding school when they hit 22 months because dang!
Lane just brought me my empty wallet. Awesome. (Note: on some occasions, "awesome" is my favorite word to drip with sarcasm.) Ack! Lucy is giving me the evil eye--gotta run!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
This particular October has been incredibly busy and doesn't really show signs of slowing down. To start out the month, Ben's youngest brother, Davey, came to stay with us over Conference Weekend. Lucy and Laney called him "Baby," which was cute because that is what his family used to call him as he is, well, the baby. We watched Conference and accused each other of snoozing through talks even though there were some where we all were. What? It's like the best nap time EVER. We also had a rousing game of Monopoly and I kicked everyone's trash. Ben has been seeking revenge ever since.
RideMax before we went, and it was right on! The park was crowded (darn you, fall break!) and yet we went on 15 rides or something. Crazy success! We also found out about this beautiful thing called a Ride Switch Pass. Why has no one ever told me about these before? If you have small children with you who can't ride the roller coaster type rides, you ask for a switch pass before you get on the ride, then you give the pass to whoever was watching the kids during the ride and they get to go right on in the fastpass line. GENIUS! Thank you, strangers in front of us who overheard Ben and I arguing about who was going on Indiana and who was sitting out for Space! It also worked out well for Mila, our roller coaster addict who got to ride nearly every one twice. Might I also recommend Jedi Training? My kids didn't get "picked" (major junior high flashbacks) but the Jedi Master was hilarious and my kids had fun anyway. (If you do not have a child in your house who talks about Star Wars 13 hours a day, this might bore you incredibly.)
It's not ALWAYS the happiest place on earth (and don't you worry, people LOVE to say that loudly when they hear screaming children, trust me...)
The second day of our California trip, Ben golfed and I went to Target. Don't be too jealous about my crazy vacation plans! But Target actually turned out to be quite an adventure because the twins began screaming and hitting and biting in their stroller. They didn't have shoes on (they always take them off in the car) so I couldn't let either of them out and I couldn't just walk out like you're supposed to because I needed to get like two things. So I decided to pretend like I was by myself. I calmly headed towards the snack aisles, unfortunately located on the other side of the store. I knew I wasn't in Utah anymore when everyone actually stopped what they were doing to watch us pass by. I can only imagine what was going through their minds: "What is that piercing noise? Oh look, it's that red stroller! There are two of them screaming!! Oh, good heavens, there are TWO more trailing behind?! And their poor mother/nanny is deaf--she seems to not hear them!!!" But I ask you, what other option did I have? I really needed those two items! We made it to the snack aisle where I promptly tore open a box of Cheezits and bought myself enough time to check out and get the h out of there.
To reward myself for my sufferings we went straight to 21 Choices, where I told the girl working there, "Yeah, I'm going to need to taste Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Three Musketeers Bar AND Strawberry Guava." If you haven't already heard, 21 Choices is pretty much the best frozen yogurt place in the world and no one else comes close. I decided to go with half Three Musketeers Bar and half Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough with cookie dough mixed in. When my step mom got home later, she informed me that there was actually a new 21 Choices store in the Village as well. Guess where we went for dessert? This time it was Chocolate Chip Cheesecake with Heath Bar mixed in. I know. You might call it excessive. I like to call it obsessive. If I would have ever gotten around to telling you about my other two days in NYC, you would have discovered that I walked to two different Pinkberrys in Manhattan on the same day. I also went to three different H & Ms, but in my defense, their layouts were totally different!
The Duchess with my step mom and her friend. My friend compared Keira Knightley to a praying mantis, and now that's all I see. I mean, are we really supposed to believe that, over the course of the movie, she has given birth to like eight children? Afterward, we ate dinner at Le Pain Quotidien and had vegan split pea soup, a tartine topped with goat cheese and Bartlett pear, and a cup of steaming hot milk that we poured little pots of chocolate into. In between bites of goat cheese tartine, I actually tried to get my step mom to go with me to Paris that minute (she used to live there, after all.)
When we came home to our house in Utah, it was 52 degrees inside. Apparently, the seasons changed from summer to fall to winter, all while we were gone! I should mention that I also finally finished The Book Thief on our trip. This book should come with a warning: "You will be reduced to a puddle of sobs." That's what happened to me, anyway. I haven't reacted that way to a book in a long time. I actually need to stop talking about it right now...
Two days ago, for UEA, we packed up the kids and headed up to my grandparents' condo at Snowbird Ski Resort. We hiked and fed birds and hung out with "Papa GG,"and all in all it was a wonderful escape from the daily grind.
P.S. My daily grind is nutso! Do you want to know how much household damage two damage-minded 22 month-olds can inflict on a house within two hours? I didn't think so. I'm not going to survive the winter. Can I come over?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Here's what you MUST see this weekend:
The Thrillionaires’ October 18 performance will feature special guest artist and musician, Alex Boyé. After winning a singing competition in 1996, Boye gained success singing in an internationally acclaimed group called “Awesome.” Since then, Boye’s voice has accompanied superstars such as the Backstreet Boys, N’SYNC, Mary J. Blige and George Michael. Local audiences may remember him for his roles in “Smokey Joe's Cafe," "Big River," "The Civil War," and the film “David and Goliath."
Buy your tickets online for only $7 at www.coveycenter.org! It's sure to be a spooky good time!