I am a robot, and I don't mean it in a good way this time. I am a robot because sentimentality can make me super uncomfortable. I had to write something today just so I didn't have to look at my Syd Riggs show post any more, because I have trouble owning it, if you will. Do you know what it means to "own it?" It reminds me of when I was a kid and I was nervous about wearing my new hot pink Converse hi-tops to school and my mom said to me, "If YOU think you look good, then everyone else will, too." And that is a life truth. It's true in many areas, even improv. If you start singing a crazy improv song and you believe that it's the best crazy improv song ever made up, then the audience will be right there with you. THAT'S owning it. When I go to the store with all four of my kids and half of them are screaming, and the other half are fighting, you just have to smile and own it, man, because what is your other option? To run away and cry and hide?
However, when it comes to the mushy stuff, I tend to shy away. I've always been like that. As a toddler, if you asked me for a hug, I would pinch your arm and make a grunting noise. I guess I figured that the illusion of a hug would keep the person happy and I would get out of it with the least amount of physical contact possible. When my girl friends in high school would bawl at girls' camp or something, I would try to make myself cry to fit in. But I didn't like it. I've gotten a lot better at hugging and crying. Being around artistic types all the time, I've had to become a hugger--it's just one of the rules of that world. I've also learned you kind of have to be ok with being vulnerable if you don't want to be the lamest actress in town. But it's different if you're playing a character on stage. My blog is not a character I'm playing, but an extension of myself (it even talks just like me), and so I feel super vulnerable busting out the cheese.
Now, because I'm tired of talking about all that sappy stuff, I want to talk about "embracing" things about oneself. Embracing is like owning, but owning is usually for positive attributes, while embracing is used for the not so awesome ones. For example, two years ago, I chose to embrace my pasty whiteness. I no longer put my face in the sun, and I try to avoid shorts and I don't care if I blind people at the pool. It's who I am, and I'm not going to have skin cancer, suckas! Last year, I decided to embrace my flat-chestedness. I don't have much to say about that, except sometimes I think I really do look better in some clothes having no chest. The important thing is that I have embraced it. 2009 will be the year of the boo-tay. I'm already off to a good start because when I was at the gym the other day, some rabbi on Rachael Ray said this gem: "To the eyes, thin is in. But to the hands, meat is neat." Thank you, Rabbi--I feel somewhat validated (never mind that his clever quip contradicts 2008's personal accomplishment.) He also convinced me to be more mysterious to my husband and now Ben teases me, "Ooh, you're so mysterious today..." and I say, "Why thank you..." Some day, I will have to embrace the fact that I am a disorganized slob trapped in a neat freak's body--that year will not be pretty.
That is clearly enough rambling for today. But now you are all distracted from my prior cheesiness, and you're thinking about owning your new haircut and embracing your lisp. You're welcome.
P.S. Everyone in second grade got Converse hi-tops that year...