Thursday, July 09, 2009

Excuse Shopping

I need a new one. My standby for the past two and a half years has been, "I can't. I have twins." It's been awesome. I use it for everything:

"Mom, can I have friends over?"
"I have twins, sorry."

"Can you be a soccer coach/room mom/playgroup coordinator?"
"Well, I sure would, if I didn't have these twins."

"Honey, you're looking hot tonight..."
"Um, twins..."

It's gotten out of hand recently.

"Can you make me a sandwich?"
"No, I have twins."

"I can't find my shoes!"
"Twins!"

"Mom, why can't I go further out into the ocean?"
"BECAUSE I HAVE TWINS!"

The last exchange happened only yesterday. Pathetic, I know, but valid, right? If Ethan started drowning and I went to save him, who would hold the clingy twins on their lap?

So, I'm thinking that when the twins hit three in November, people are not going to let me get away with my favorite excuse any more. Any ideas of what I can say to get out of the next three years? Otherwise, skeptics or no, I'm sticking with this one, at least until they're 18.

11 comments:

April Fossen said...

If it were me, I would work that excuse until they were married and had children of their own. Probably longer.

Randy said...

You could try "Sorry, I'm pregnant," but that only buys you a few months 'til people start getting suspicious.

(And that's best-case scenario. For me they only bought it for like a few minutes.)

Kacy said...

I just thought of something:"I can't, Hailey has twins." Awesome!

Mindy Gledhill said...

How about this one: "NO thanks. I just don't want to." That's what I do. Works every time.

Shawn said...

You could say----"Sorry, my brain is now dead----since I had those darn twins!"

You can carry that on for your whole life!

Am loving having you in MA, by the by----I feel so lucky to hold those twins every day....for a while, anyway.

Beeswax said...

I sounds like you need to have triplets. Triplet boys. I think that will get you out of pretty much everything for like a decade.

And then, you can have a nervous breakdown. And everyone will be afraid to ask you for anything after that.

(Jen's friend tried it. She has twins girls and 2 years later triplet boys. It ticks me off, cause she always looks like she has it together, even has fabulous hair. I mean, why waste such perfect excuses?)

Kelly said...

Funny post! Hope the twins thing keeps working for you. Sounds like you depend on it!

Daddy Dave said...

"I have twin toddlers!"

Mom n Pop Wilson said...

I think that excuse can work for a very long time. It was good to see you at the reunion! I hope you have been enjoying your trip.

kathryn said...

your excuses make my excuses look like weak sauce.

Brittany said...

I think you're justified until then.