Famous last words

I have to laugh at my last post about motherhood and all that. I feel like the guy in the movie who utters that rousing speech only to go get slaughtered in battle. You see, I've had a major development in my life in the past week. Last Tuesday, I went to the doctor to check up on what I was hoping was a healthy 9 week-old person inside of me. When the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and suggested we do an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok, I was pretty nervous and not too optimistic. As he was prepping me for the ultrasound, the doctor asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl. A bit distracted, I think I just muttered, "Yeah, one of those..." I was not at all expecting the doctor to then say, "Whoa...maybe you'll have one of each!" I sort of half-laughed at him until he said, "No, really, I'm not kidding." I still tried to disprove him with a lame "My husband's sister is pregnant with twins..." to which he quickly responded, "Well, your husband's wife is pregnant with twins!" He was just not going to allow me to remain a second longer in that lovely place I like to visit called Denial. I won't go into any more details about that doctor's appointment, but just believe me when I tell you it was the Twilight Zone in there. When I stepped out into the sunlight again, blinking my eyes, I knew then that I knew absolutely nothing about motherhood. Or anything, for that matter.

The reactions have been great. There have beens screams, silence, laughter, and my personal favorite: tears. My neighbor actually started to cry and hugged me. And not so much tears of joy. I sort of patted her and said, "There, there, it's ok. I haven't even cried yet!" Lots of people have felt the need to tell me their second-hand twin horror stories, although I can't imagine why they would think I might want to hear those gems before, say, twenty years from now. A lady in my mom's ward did come up to me to put in her two cents: "Don't listen to what anyone says--twins are a blast!" Finally, a person I wanted to listen to! Unfortunately, I had to question her credibility as a sane person shortly thereafter when she added that her twins came at the end of her nine children!

My co-improviser told me to let him know when we could do a big farewell show for me and I thought, "Wow, it's like I'm dying!" But maybe I sort of am. Maybe the part of me that loves sleep, good food, good TV, friends, shopping, travelling, performing, laughing, will just sort of have to take a backseat for a couple of years. Although my grandpa did say, "Well, at least you have the sense of humor for this!" I, on the other hand, am sort of wishing that I had been somewhere else when the silly sense was handed out, because I'm starting to believe that with your sense of humor, they also secretly slipped you a disease, or a dysfunctional family, or twins... Why couldn't I have then hopped into the patience line? No doubt it was far too long.

So yeah, I'm feeling immensely overwhelmed. However, I'm staying true to my life mantra and taking it all a day at a time. At present, I am rather enjoying the opportunity to consume enormous amounts of food in restaurants while strangers stare. I'm also feeling extremely grateful for the most supportive family and friends out there. I love you all! (And please still love me back even after I drop Ethan and Mila at your house for the hundredth time!)

(P.S. Speaking of Mila, if you did happen to read my latest post on motherhood, are you as shocked as I am that my daughter must be some sort of prophetess, in that she predicted that I would weigh 399 lbs. and know a lot about babies? I have no doubt they will both come true!)