Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Famous last words

I have to laugh at my last post about motherhood and all that. I feel like the guy in the movie who utters that rousing speech only to go get slaughtered in battle. You see, I've had a major development in my life in the past week. Last Tuesday, I went to the doctor to check up on what I was hoping was a healthy 9 week-old person inside of me. When the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and suggested we do an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok, I was pretty nervous and not too optimistic. As he was prepping me for the ultrasound, the doctor asked me if I wanted a boy or a girl. A bit distracted, I think I just muttered, "Yeah, one of those..." I was not at all expecting the doctor to then say, "Whoa...maybe you'll have one of each!" I sort of half-laughed at him until he said, "No, really, I'm not kidding." I still tried to disprove him with a lame "My husband's sister is pregnant with twins..." to which he quickly responded, "Well, your husband's wife is pregnant with twins!" He was just not going to allow me to remain a second longer in that lovely place I like to visit called Denial. I won't go into any more details about that doctor's appointment, but just believe me when I tell you it was the Twilight Zone in there. When I stepped out into the sunlight again, blinking my eyes, I knew then that I knew absolutely nothing about motherhood. Or anything, for that matter.

The reactions have been great. There have beens screams, silence, laughter, and my personal favorite: tears. My neighbor actually started to cry and hugged me. And not so much tears of joy. I sort of patted her and said, "There, there, it's ok. I haven't even cried yet!" Lots of people have felt the need to tell me their second-hand twin horror stories, although I can't imagine why they would think I might want to hear those gems before, say, twenty years from now. A lady in my mom's ward did come up to me to put in her two cents: "Don't listen to what anyone says--twins are a blast!" Finally, a person I wanted to listen to! Unfortunately, I had to question her credibility as a sane person shortly thereafter when she added that her twins came at the end of her nine children!

My co-improviser told me to let him know when we could do a big farewell show for me and I thought, "Wow, it's like I'm dying!" But maybe I sort of am. Maybe the part of me that loves sleep, good food, good TV, friends, shopping, travelling, performing, laughing, will just sort of have to take a backseat for a couple of years. Although my grandpa did say, "Well, at least you have the sense of humor for this!" I, on the other hand, am sort of wishing that I had been somewhere else when the silly sense was handed out, because I'm starting to believe that with your sense of humor, they also secretly slipped you a disease, or a dysfunctional family, or twins... Why couldn't I have then hopped into the patience line? No doubt it was far too long.

So yeah, I'm feeling immensely overwhelmed. However, I'm staying true to my life mantra and taking it all a day at a time. At present, I am rather enjoying the opportunity to consume enormous amounts of food in restaurants while strangers stare. I'm also feeling extremely grateful for the most supportive family and friends out there. I love you all! (And please still love me back even after I drop Ethan and Mila at your house for the hundredth time!)

(P.S. Speaking of Mila, if you did happen to read my latest post on motherhood, are you as shocked as I am that my daughter must be some sort of prophetess, in that she predicted that I would weigh 399 lbs. and know a lot about babies? I have no doubt they will both come true!)

16 comments:

Eric D Snider said...

Hailey Joel Osment Smith!! Congratulations! I suspected you were pregnant, but I had no idea you were doubly so. That means even more little chocolate donuts from Wal-Mart. I mean, you're eating for THREE, for crying out loud! I'm so excited for you, because even if it's a total nightmare, at least the little Doppelgangers will be super cute. (OH! Is one of them going to be evil?! I love when there's evil twins.) (OH!! If they're identical twins, they can play Francie/Evil Francie or Sydney/Evil Sydney from "Alias"!)

April Fossen said...

Good God Hailey! Color me in the dark over here. I don't have any twin horror stories, darn it. Congratulations and...just...WOW.

Allanna said...

Congrads! (Usually I lurk on your site, but this is just too cool!)
I have a set of nearly 5 month-old B/G twins. You are going to have so much fun.
I hope that your pregnancy goes most excellently and that you don't have any complications (besides the fact that you have two babies inside you, of course).

I am so thrilled for you! (I asked Zoƫ, the younger of the twins if she was excited for you. She smiled.)

Gotta go, Bruce is waking up. But I wish you tons of fun!

April Fossen said...

P.S. I just told Mark and he said "NO. How will they both fit?"

Shawn said...

For some reason its especially scary when YOUR baby has twins!

That sounded wierd...

I just can't see how my little Hailey will be able to even walk, let alone, stand...with two bowling balls perched in the frontal region of her body!

Other than that,...I'm excited to have two more G-babies! And I must admit that you and Ben make the most beautiful babies that I have ever seen! (Right alongside my own children, of course)

If only I lived closer...

Grasshopper said...

Hailey-
I'm the worst friend for finding out all this info about you on your blog and not in person - I miss you and I can't believe you are having TWINS!!! Four children - you are unreal. I have a lot of catching up to do. Please give them matching names - I'm partial to Jen and Ben (Jr), or Max and Maxine, Flora and Fauna...

Jenni Smith said...

Oh Hailey...seriously, where are two gonna fit in you??? I'm so excited fo you!!! You'll be great...you have what it takes for sure to handle two...you and Melanie. If you need a break, send Mila on down here to San Antonio for a week...I'll need a nanny in about 4 days! Oh, what the heck...send Ethan too...Caden and him can keep each other occupied!

lindsay livingston said...

Congrats!

lisa v. clark said...

There have been meetings. . . and there are more meetings in the works. . . concerning your improv performing and babysitting needs. And tv watching needs. We are all so happy for you!

Suzie Petunia said...

Wonderful! Congratulations! I just visited a friend's newborn twins in the hospital last week - a boy and a girl - and I am craving twins. The strangest craving I've ever had, I must say. (Craving to hold, cuddle, love, etc, etc...not eat. Just to clarify.) I am happy for you. Good luck!

Brinna said...

Still jealous...

erin said...

I'm so excited for ya! That's so crazy, I still can't believe there are going to be so many new Smith babies! Like Jenni said, you should send Mila and Ethan to San Antonio for a while!

josie vance said...

Congrats!!! My baby sister is having twins, too. She's not really a baby, but I can't help but call her that. She has also had many well-meaning people tell her nightmare stories about twins. She doesn't get what that need is...
I am so excited for your family! You do make such beautiful babies. I am so happy that people like you are raising children. You're such a stud!!!

Cher Anderton said...

Twins will be so fun and I am super jealous. I was really hoping for twins this time around but am happy with one healthy babe. You'll do great and your blog will just get better and better with your twin stories!

Betina said...

CONGRATULATIONS! I am very excited for you. Luckily you have a good MIL and a good Mom who can tag-team with post-birth support, hopefully for like 7 months.

You and Ben are going to be great parents of TWINS!!!!

Hailey said...

Thanks for all of the encouraging comments, even from those of you I've never met before! It's good to know others will be thinking of you when you're entering an inevitable period of insanity!

April-I love that Mark said that--I said the same thing to my dr. and he doesn't seem too worried!

Grasshopper-(cute name, by the way) I'm the bad friend for not calling you recently--I miss you!

Cher-I went to your family website and looked at the pics of Noah and your other kids. They are so adorable, and Noah is absolutely stunning! Congrats!