Thursday, September 06, 2007

A Formula For Success! Or Maybe Just Sanity...


I've got to be honest with you. Sometimes I read the blogs of my family and friends and I have little anxiety attacks. I sit there and start to agonize about all of the million amazing things I am not doing that everyone else is. I storm away from my computer all grumpy and call my friend Rachel and tell her what a loser I am. Eventually, I take a lot of deep breaths and say to myself, "You have four children. You have twin 9 month olds. Relaaaaaaaaaax..." But it is amazing how difficult it is for me to do just that.
On my friend Lisa's blog, right under her title, it says, "lowering the bar, and being awesome." I love that phrase because it sums up so perfectly what my attitude should be right now. So what if I moved in at the end of June and I am not all unpacked? Seriously, where's the fire? It's not like some neighborhood committee is going to come over and inspect my house to make sure that everything is in its place. My children are happy enough. My law school student doesn't seem to notice. So why beat myself up? Lowering the bar, people. That's what it's all about.
My sister-in-law Melanie is great at being awesome. She has four kids, two of which are 11 month old twin boys. I love her because she's not killing herself trying to make it look easy. She's keeping it real and has an amazing sense of humor, to boot. (Sidenote: if you are planning on having twins, I would recommend stocking up on at least a year's supply of humor.)
When Mila was two, I belonged to a playgroup. I was always sort of put off by how "lovely" all of the conversations were. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am an eternal optimist and by no means a Debbie Downer, but I think it's silly to pretend like you are something that you are not. Every mom has bad days, every mom cries, every mom's child lies prostrate on the floors of grocery stores and screams. Can't we all just admit that and have a good laugh? That's what I always wanted to say to those girls.
I also think back on those days with only one child and marvel at how much time I had to get things done and wonder why in the world I ever felt overwhelmed. I believe the simple answer is that where there was no drama, perhaps I tended to create some, to keep myself entertained. I am, after all, from a family quite gifted in histrionics. These days, I don't have to create anything. I need only to sit back with my popcorn and oj and watch as the drama unfolds all on its own. The events of this past summer, leading up until the present, have been gripping enough to bring me to tears, make me laugh out loud, as well as stun me into silence.
Currently, I feel like we are the lab rats in someone's twisted scientific experiment: "Let's find out what would happen if we took six rats and put them in the same living quarters and then introduced the following variables: Subject E will have diarrhea for a week, Subject M will have diarrhea for three days, then develop pink eye, and Subjects L1 and L2 will be teething and never sleep for solid intervals. Subject B will have pink eye as well, but won't really hold much weight in the experiment as he will be going to law school for 15 hours a day. As for Subject H, she will be our control rat. Let's see how long it takes for her to go absolutely stark-raving mad!" Well, mad scientist, they haven't carted me off yet, so ha! Seriously though, can one household have so many afflictions at the same time? Isn't there a law against that? Is the Health Department going to intervene? Some day I will write a book and it will be called, "Are You Kidding Me?" because I have said that 300 times in the past month.
Well, I am feeling better now. It helps to put it out there, I have to admit. All sickness aside, I love the time I have with Mila and Ethan and as for my little girlies, I just want to squeeze every ounce of enjoyment out of their little baby cheeks that I can. So please excuse me over here while I'm changing diapers, making bottles, not cleaning my house every day, and not cooking every night. It's who I am right now, and I am learning to be cool with it. In other words, lowering the bar, and being awesome. (Thank you, Lisa, for allowing me to steal your words of inspiration!)

13 comments:

Jennifer Latimer said...

I don't know if I can get my bar any lower. In fact, I know I can't. Things I am proud of?
I ate breakfast today.
I washed my face last night before crawling into bed.
and...I got pulled over for the third time this summer, but do I have a ticket to show for it...Nope Nope Nope diddly Nope

I love you Hailey

Grasshopper said...

I see I have a lot to look forward to! Hailey - you are amazing no matter what level the bar is at.

Ron, Annette & Girls said...

Hi Hailey! I'm glad to know other people's houses aren't spotless all the time. I'm going to adopt the whole "lowering the bar" attitude! Your girls (and Mila and Ethan too) are so cute!! We're coming up in October for a couple of weeks. We'll have to see if we can get Mila and Jenna together. I'd love to see you guys. Jenna was so excited when she saw that she and Mila have the same bathing suit! Hope you're all feeling better!

lisa v. clark said...

Well, I'm honored that my words have stuck with you! I think it should be noted, on the world-wide-web, that it was either lowering the bar, or going on a long vacation in a big white room. . .

I was at a soccer game with all my kids, and my lonely pregnant self and a mom of two asked "how I handle everything" (while the 2 year-old is crying, the 4 year-old is whining, and the 9 year-old is not helping. . . and I'm "trying" to watch the 7 year-old play!) First I looked to see if she was being sarcastic, which I expected, when I discovered she was sincere, I told her, "Oh, we just try and keep it simple!" but in my MIND I thought "lower the bar and be totally awesome!" (not all people "get it," I'm glad YOU do!)

Your kids are so cute and I'm sorry they've been so sick. It's not fair. Like yesterday when I desperatley wanted to meet a friend for lunch and Phoebe threw up in the car. I wanted stimulating conversation and cheese fries, but I got vomit clean up and a Lean Cuisine. Oh well. At least I'M AWESOME!!!

Kristen said...

Amen! It must not be my blog that you feel inferior too because my house had seen better days, like when we moved into it brand new, and I just have a cute bratty 2 yr old and ONE 9 month old. And I wear makeup like twice a week and do my hair maybe that many times as well. So there. Oh and did I mention about a month ago I just started to wear actual jeans/shorts and a top instead of sweats and a t-shirt for hanging around the house?

melanie said...

Hey -- at least you all blog! I'm so awesome at lowering the bar, I don't even write anything down. Rock on, Hailey and co.!

erin said...

Hailey! I love your blog, and this post is especially awesome.
You're my hero!

Jenni said...

Love it! SO many days I'm so needing to read a post like this---so what if "picking up" is considered clean in my book---dinner, cooked by me? Hmmm...Pizza Hut and Chipotle cook much better I have to say so I go with them. Make-up? The month Josh was gone at COT I think I pulled make-up out to use maybe 5 times (and only because I was going to church). I totally have this dream of being super mom one day--it'll remain a dream forever though!!! That's ok. So much more important things in life like aving fun! Great post---and by the way, you're aweseome!

Matt said...

I think you should write a book. It sounds like you don't have anything better to do... j/k. You really are awesome, no bar lowering needed. Oh, by the way, I do think you should write a book, but maybe you can wait until the twins are out of diapers at least.

Josh said...

Don't you thing blogs are just forums for people to tell us about how great their lives are? And how they eat organic vegetables in their garden and make cool art projects to decorate their home? Me? I'm buying my kids big slurpees so I can sit with the new Entertainment Weekly Fall TV people and a highlighter and plan out the fall season.

Kelly said...

Hi. It's your cousin-in-law Kelly. Hope you don't mind me peeping on your blog. If you are ticked, blame Melanie, she gave me the address. The mental image I have of Ben in his pirate patch at Law School has entertained me all week. Is that wrong? It can't be wrong.
Come see my new blog sometime: http://diversifiedbeeson.blogspot.com/

King Family said...

Hailey, you might not remember me but we were in a show together years ago...pre-kids....Lucky Stiff at the Hale. Angie Boyle King. I was the pregnant/sick one during the show. I stumbled on your blog via a friends blog so I hope you don't mind my comment. YOU ARE HILARIOUS. I really needed this post. I love blogs and looking at friends blogs, but I also feel the guilt. Thank you for your post. I needed it. You have BEAUTIFUL children BTW and you don't look so bad yourself. :)

Christa M. said...

I a typing left-handed while I nurse my little parasite... how are you doing this with 2 (+2)?? I have to say, you have actually set the bar pretty high, dangit!