Setting: Hailey, Lucy, and Lane are checking out at the new Trader Joe's at 72nd and Broadway. Their cashier, a pleasant lady who has just offered the twins stickers, notices Lucy's cough.
Cashier: What do you give your children when they cough like that?
Me: Usually nothing. My kids always get coughs that last for like three weeks, but they never get fevers or anything.
Cashier: (her eyebrows go up so high I'm afraid they'll stick that way) I guess I'm a different kind of parent. I don't like to see my children suffer.
Me: (shoot a WTH look over to Jenny, who is checking out at the next register, but has not heard anything.)
Cashier: You should give her some NyQuil so she can sleep. That's what I do.
Me: . . .
(No children were harmed in the making of this episode. You guys, I know it's amazing, but Lucy survived the night, despite all that suffering I inflicted on her.)