Friday, March 21, 2008

Hoodwinked

My 5-year old is the con artist. I am the mark. I have fallen for a "long con" that is the oldest scam in the book.

I have been so proud of him for the past month. Each day, after Mila leaves for school, he disappears into his room. I hear the familiar clumping of toys being tossed into their appropriate bins and I smile to myself. After a while, he comes out and announces, "Mom, I cleaned my room!" and I go to inspect. Sure enough, it is always spic and span (what does that even mean?) He goes off to play and I pat myself on the back for being an awesome mom by making my son work. I have even bragged about him to my friends.

Today is Friday, which means that he is allowed to play XBox. Basically, he's waited all week long for this day. So the stakes are pretty high as far as the whole "cleaning the room" end of the deal goes. As I went in for my regular room inspection this morning, I noticed two things: 1)The toy bins, normally overflowing with Mystery Inc. characters and Storm Troopers, were only half-filled at best, and 2)At the foot of the bed, various arms and legs were poking out as well as some book pages.

I bent down to quickly snatch up the half-hidden objects and upon sweeping my hand under the bed, I was surprised at the amount of obstacles that stood in my way. I decided to take a quick peek under the dust ruffle. Well, much to my horror, what I saw was about six inches of space JAM-PACKED with toys, books and stuffed animals. There was not an inch to be spared! It looked like some crazy, freaky dump-site for plastic corpses. Also, he sleeps in a queen-sized bed. Yeah. So basically, he has been playing shove-o-rama for an ENTIRE month!

I have gotten out about half of the "buried treasure," but I am going to need a broomstick or something to retrieve the rest. He is so busted.

As for me, how could I have been so blind? I can't believe I fell for the whole "Mommy-I-love-you-so-much-I'll-do-manual-labor-for-you-every-morning!" act. Well, it's not going to be so easy in the future--now I'm jaded. That kid's not getting anything by me!

Now I just need to work on getting more details on Mila and her "boyfriend"...

12 comments:

Annette said...

Jenna used to do that little trick too. You gotta give it to the kids for trying!

Kristen said...

I don't believe it. Ethan is such a good boy, he wouldn't do that. It cracks me up though. At least he is attempting to do something. We ask Lily to pick up stuff and she does one toy and pretends to be working until I am done.

Tom Quinn. said...

Your children are little geniuses. They've learned in their few short years what it took me my entire life to learn. The perception of work is just as good as the real thing.

Elly said...

Haha! They figure it out quickly, don't they? Xbox only on Fridays? Wow, I'm impressed! This is my parenting lately: "Go play your playstation and LEAVE ME ALONE!" 'Course, being 8 1/2 months pregnant doesn't help things...

Jenni said...

Haha...quite the con-artist at such a young age! That is hilarious...I totally would have believed it too! What's this about my little niece and a boy?????

lisa v. clark said...

He is advanced. That's pretty good. I caught M and O doing that a couple of months ago, when I was pregnant no less, and have to "check" before Wii time. . . . but I remember being little and "cleaning" the bathroom by just spraying Lysol in it, so I guess what goes around. . .

erin said...

Smart kid. Sad thing is, I still do the same thing... only now instead of under the bed, I shove things in my closet. It's quite a site. :)
..and, cutie... I want to hear about Mila and her "boyfriend" too!... You'll have to fill us in.

Blake and Meg said...

Get one of those beds with storage drawers built in underneath and you're set!!

The UnMighty said...

So, In his mind lifting up a giant queen sized mattress whilst grabbing and throwing toys was easier than throwing them in a bin? I think you still have a leg up in the brains department.

(ps. "spic & span" is a racial slur against Mexicans and Spaniards. You might want to watch who you use it in front of.)

Teachinfourth said...

Hmmm...it makes me wonder if he gets this from his mom...

Anonymous said...

The UnMighty - are you being serious about the etymology of spic and span? If so you may want to read this article, or this summary:

"Spick and span" was a British idiom first recorded in 1579, and used shortly afterwards in Samuel Pepys's diary. A spick was a spike or nail, a span was a very fresh wood chip, and thus the phrase meant clean and neat and all in place, as in being nailed down. The "span" in the idiom also is part of "brand span new", now more commonly rendered "brand spanking new", and has nothing to do with the words "Spanish" or "Hispanic".

I think Hailey is safe using the phrase.

Hailey said...

I am 100% positive that the unmighty was not being serious in his comment. However, thank you for posting the true origins of the phrase--I had never heard that before.