Last night, on the way from Penn Station to the subway platform at 34th St., a less-than-fully-sane looking woman stepped into our path:
Woman: Won't you wish me a Happy Valentine's Day?
Ben: No, thank you.
Woman: You are very ugly, and you don't get no candy!
Ben: (after we got on the train) That was hurtful.
On the ride home, we replayed the scenario with different outcomes. What if Ben had turned around at that point and said, "Well, in that case, Happy Valentine's Day! Are you telling me you actually have candy to give me?" I guess we will never know.
The moral of the story is, when traveling by subway, bring your thick skin and a can of crazy repellent.
(I must add, this reminds me of an experience that is forever etched in my memory. I was about 6 and my sister was 3 and we were in the bank, waiting for my mom. We were swinging on the bars near the front door, and a plus-sized African-American woman walked by. Brinna stage whispered to me, "Hailey! That is the fattest woman I ever saw!" Before I could even blink, the woman turned around, stuck her finger in my terrified sister's face and yelled, "Oh yeah? Well, you the UGLIEST girl I EVER saw!" And then she walked away. To this day, any time I do my impression of that woman, it makes me happy to no end.)