My Latest Obsession

Points to whoever can guess what it is! (It should not be too difficult to figure out...)

Lane, Lucy, and Big Bro


Lucy's new trick


Laney sneezed right before this one...


Lucy


Lane

The Bionic Blog...

...is written by my husband. He has updated it for the first time in a year and he is pretty dang funny.

http://thebionicblog.blogspot.com/

An Event Two Years in the Making

She came home after kindergarten one day and told me about a classmate who had donated her hair to Locks of Love. "Mom, that's what I want to do!" Ten inches and two years later, her hair is currently in the mail. She's so cool.

The Things I'll Do for Target Money

Happy Rug

This arrived on my porch yesterday. I woke up sick today. Sitting on this and holding my girls while listening to this made me feel much better!

A Formula For Success! Or Maybe Just Sanity...

I've got to be honest with you. Sometimes I read the blogs of my family and friends and I have little anxiety attacks. I sit there and start to agonize about all of the million amazing things I am not doing that everyone else is. I storm away from my computer all grumpy and call my friend Rachel and tell her what a loser I am. Eventually, I take a lot of deep breaths and say to myself, "You have four children. You have twin 9 month olds. Relaaaaaaaaaax..." But it is amazing how difficult it is for me to do just that.
On my friend Lisa's blog, right under her title, it says, "lowering the bar, and being awesome." I love that phrase because it sums up so perfectly what my attitude should be right now. So what if I moved in at the end of June and I am not all unpacked? Seriously, where's the fire? It's not like some neighborhood committee is going to come over and inspect my house to make sure that everything is in its place. My children are happy enough. My law school student doesn't seem to notice. So why beat myself up? Lowering the bar, people. That's what it's all about.
My sister-in-law Melanie is great at being awesome. She has four kids, two of which are 11 month old twin boys. I love her because she's not killing herself trying to make it look easy. She's keeping it real and has an amazing sense of humor, to boot. (Sidenote: if you are planning on having twins, I would recommend stocking up on at least a year's supply of humor.)
When Mila was two, I belonged to a playgroup. I was always sort of put off by how "lovely" all of the conversations were. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am an eternal optimist and by no means a Debbie Downer, but I think it's silly to pretend like you are something that you are not. Every mom has bad days, every mom cries, every mom's child lies prostrate on the floors of grocery stores and screams. Can't we all just admit that and have a good laugh? That's what I always wanted to say to those girls.
I also think back on those days with only one child and marvel at how much time I had to get things done and wonder why in the world I ever felt overwhelmed. I believe the simple answer is that where there was no drama, perhaps I tended to create some, to keep myself entertained. I am, after all, from a family quite gifted in histrionics. These days, I don't have to create anything. I need only to sit back with my popcorn and oj and watch as the drama unfolds all on its own. The events of this past summer, leading up until the present, have been gripping enough to bring me to tears, make me laugh out loud, as well as stun me into silence.
Currently, I feel like we are the lab rats in someone's twisted scientific experiment: "Let's find out what would happen if we took six rats and put them in the same living quarters and then introduced the following variables: Subject E will have diarrhea for a week, Subject M will have diarrhea for three days, then develop pink eye, and Subjects L1 and L2 will be teething and never sleep for solid intervals. Subject B will have pink eye as well, but won't really hold much weight in the experiment as he will be going to law school for 15 hours a day. As for Subject H, she will be our control rat. Let's see how long it takes for her to go absolutely stark-raving mad!" Well, mad scientist, they haven't carted me off yet, so ha! Seriously though, can one household have so many afflictions at the same time? Isn't there a law against that? Is the Health Department going to intervene? Some day I will write a book and it will be called, "Are You Kidding Me?" because I have said that 300 times in the past month.
Well, I am feeling better now. It helps to put it out there, I have to admit. All sickness aside, I love the time I have with Mila and Ethan and as for my little girlies, I just want to squeeze every ounce of enjoyment out of their little baby cheeks that I can. So please excuse me over here while I'm changing diapers, making bottles, not cleaning my house every day, and not cooking every night. It's who I am right now, and I am learning to be cool with it. In other words, lowering the bar, and being awesome. (Thank you, Lisa, for allowing me to steal your words of inspiration!)

Awesome August

Why do kids say the most awesome things?

First off, my friend was over with her four and a half kids. Ben was setting up our new entertainment thingie. Her oldest son, Miles, who is 9, was watching him and said, "I see you have Dish Network." Ben said, "Yeah, I heard it's pretty good." Miles' reply: "Well, it's never let me down!" Lisa, you have trained him well for life.

Mila has been full of them in the past few weeks. Here are a few gems:

"I remember the first day that you bought me a Rainbow Magic series book and from that day on, I was transformed into a fantasy-lovin' bookworm!"

"A toy is not a toy without a kid."

"Ethan, you know what I always say? 'If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!' That is my absolute favorite saying to live by!"

And finally, whenever I ask her a question, instead of saying yes or no, she will say something like, "Do clownfish eat plankton?" And I just stand there blinking as she adds, "Answer that and you'll have your answer!" Great. Thanks, 7-year old, for reminding me how little I know about marine biology.

I also have to add that my little girls are the cutest, most awesome babies I have ever seen. I have to gush now because they're not moving yet and so it is the calm before the storm, if you will. But I put them in the bathtub together tonight and Lucy inadvertently made a little splash and Laney reacted with a guffaw and then they both started laughing hysterically. The cuteness almost killed me right then and there.

However, before you go on thinking that I'm living some sort of enchanted life, just know that in this past week Ben has had pink eye and wore a pirate eye patch on his second day of law school, Mila had a mysterious stomach bug and missed two days of school, and I have had a cold that will not leave me alone. So I have been pretty grumpy. So that is why I am especially grateful for hilarious children and cutest babies.

Pictures make me happy, too:

Ethan, Mila (underwater),and my brother Aydan back in July


Cutie Crab girls


My mom and Laney, on the night she left :^(


My new haircut (apparently it's the Victoria Beckham bob and it's hot right now, or so said my stylist, whose name was Hailey, so I had no choice but to believe her)


Second Day of Second Grade (she was sick the first day)


Lucy, Ethan, and Lane

Flyin' SOLO

Things I did on my trip to St. George:
- Spent time with my beautiful, talented, stylish, sweet, funny friend Jenny, who is playing Cinderella and Eliza Dolittle at Tuacahn Ampitheatre.
- Stayed in the Hampton Inn in a room with a King Bed.
- Didn't wake up once at night to make a bottle, not ONCE!
- Slept in until after 9.
- Ate hibachi one night, Greek the next, and Cold Stone, Nielsen's Custard, Red Vines, and pumpkin-chocolate chip bread all in between.
- Went to visit Cristian and Nicole Bell, who are both very awesome.
- Got a massage.
- Got a facial.
- Felt awkward when the girl giving me my facial said that her husband insists on naming their unborn child after his sister and she refuses because his sister did something unforgivable to her. I didn't think I was supposed to get stressed during my facial.
- Shopped at the OshKosh outlet and saved $300! It was like I was stealing the clothes--I'm surprised I didn't get arrested. (I have the receipt to prove it!)
- Shopped at Jenny's favorite consignment store and tried on "everything in the store"(or so said one male employee) I ended up getting a gorgeous red wool coat, some shirts, a vase, and some old books for the kids.
- Watched SYTYCD with Jenny and her show friends and laughed at their funny comments. GO SABRA!!!
- Went to see Jenny's special production of Cinderella where it was 95 degrees at 10 pm and the audience just sat there sweating together while flies buzzed around. Decided I don't really like the play Cinderella. But I love Jenny.
- Sat by the pool and read a book, and went to a movie, two impossible feats in my real life.
- Watched part of Real World while I was getting dressed. Being the Taurus that I am, took some small degree of comfort in the fact that some things never change. Especially the trashiest things.
- Got flipped off by some guy in the car next to me in Cedar City.
- Cried after a guy flipped me off because I did nothing wrong and I didn't understand how someone could be so mean.
- Missed my husband and kids, especially the eight month old identical looking ones.

Summer So Far

I have not written FOREVER. And that is due, largely in part, to the fact that we have been MOVING. I have firmly decided, and I will tell anyone I see, that I would rather give birth than move. I am not kidding. However, we were lucky enough (or crazy enough) to throw two weeks of vacation into the midst of our moving. We went to Zion National Park for the annual Durfey/Smith reunion, then down to Gilbert, AZ to Ben's parents for the 4th of July and Mila's birthday, then over to Claremont, CA to visit my dad and Janine and the old stomping grounds. Finally, when we came home to our disaster of an unpacked house in Provo, my mom and youngest brother showed up from Boston to help out for two weeks! They left last night and we are sad but so very grateful they came! But enough of the boring stuff. If you're like me, you want less talkie, more lookie...

Lane and Lucy at 6 months (6/9/07)


Grandpa Jones feeding the girls in St. George

Ethan and cousin Lily in the river at Zion National Park

Mila and cousin Collin in the river

Lane and Lucy wearing their team bandannas for the Durfey reunion

Mila and Collin, getting their craft on

Cousin Kate and Ethan

Lazy Zion afternoons: Cutey Luke is next to Ethan and cutey Seth has the helmet

The Smith siblings: Ben, Aaron, Melanie, Josh, Jake, Davey, and Booner

The Grand Canyon

This one of my in-laws totally "cracks" me up!

How romantic...

Laney and Mila

The 4th of July

Mila requested a " heart-shaped, chocolate cake with pink frosting and M&M's"--Hooray Aunt Melanie!

After opening Ethan's present

Mila and Grandma Smith

Lane and Lucy, in their new double stroller--almost 8 months old

At Adventure City in Anaheim, CA with my friend Heidi and her cute kids Ainsley and Alyssa

Pioneer Day pony ride

Check it out...

Hollywoodn't

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Happy Day

On the day that you turn thirty, it is very pleasant to listen to the Amelie soundtrack. Thank you, Mom! And thank you, Family, for the 30 present extravaganza! And thank you everyone else for all of the calls and messages. I hope to see you all at my party, where my husband will be dishing up some of his gourmet fare, and the rest of us will just be dishing.


Oh, and by the way, Mother's Day brought us a new member of the family. Hoover? I hardly knew 'er. It's all about the Dyson, baby...

A stat, a quip, and some pics

Our bishop announced a few weeks ago that we have the largest Primary in the HISTORY of the WORLD. Over 300 kids. We also have the fastest-growing ward in Utah County, but I'm sure you already assumed that. But seriously, do you really think anyone is going to miss my TWO Primary-aged children when we move? And that is why I am not too broken up about it. They will move on without Mila's awesome talks, I can guarantee it.

The other night, Ethan said, "I don't want to sleep by myself!" I told him that he had lots of doggies to sleep with so he wasn't alone. He immediately protested, "No! It has to be a WOMAN!" I have no comment on that--I just thought it was hilarious.

Lucy and Lane on Easter Sunday


Ethan, Lucy, Mila and Lane, with cousins Kate, Logan, Collin, and Seth in Arizona



Lane and Lucy looking awesome



Lane and Lucy in their Bumbo seats

Happy Easter!

Goings-ons

Spring is here. I can finally take the girls outside and Target has way too many cute clothes. In addition, lots of stuff has been happening. Here are some recent highlights:

*The girls have found their thumbs. Oh blissful day. The other morning, when I waited until 8:30 and could wait no longer to burst into the room to see if they were still alive (my kids just don't sleep in,) I found them going to town on those things, sucking ferociously in their sleep. Best invention ever, that thumb.

*Ethan still cares about nothing in the world but his Cars. All 20 of them. Best investment ever.

*Mila has begun to read Choose Your Own Adventure books. Ben's old ones. And they are so awesome, remember?

*Ben got a new suit and it is HOT. It is tan, three-button, and is doomed for a life at the cleaners after two little girls get done spitting up on it. First new suit in seven years, I believe. Oh, and he got accepted to BYU Law School-holla!

*I have, for some reason unbeknownst to me, had the fortune to shed several pounds quite rapidly since giving birth. (I still maintain that, because I'm nursing two people, my body very smartly gives every single ounce of good stuff to the girls and leaves me with the nutrition equivalent of a Tic-Tac.) However, this happening has resulted in some slightly hostile conversations with strangers at Wal-Mart when I finally got up the guts to take the twins and Ethan out to pick up a few items. Therefore, I have decided to use an alias in the future. I tell you this so that if you happen to be out in public with me, you will not blow my cover. I am now the nanny, not the mom. Plus, I figure I can avoid all the "twins" interrogations by being a Norwegian nanny who only says the following words in English: "Get back over to the cart right now," and "No, you may not have that."

*I am a businesswoman. I own 17% of the Thrillionaires, LLC, which means I own 17% of $0. However, I like to say that I am a businesswoman, so there.

*I will soon be filming a sketch comedy show. I don't have much to say about that except that I got to write a sketch about mannies that I find mildly amusing. Also, when you are one woman in a room of twelve funny boys, shocking things are said that I won't repeat.

*I got to sing jazz at a friend's sister's birthday party, and what you don't know is that it is my secret dream to be a jazz singer.

*A "friend" of mine is selling her house. And maybe one day she had a showing at 3:20. And maybe she decided she HAD to go to the bathroom at 3:19 after she got her kids loaded in the car. And maybe she plugged her own toilet. And maybe she had to run to her room to get a plunger. And just maybe the dang thing wouldn't plunge. And maybe it did after the twentieth time when she was about to cry. And maybe you're hoping that the end of this story is that the people walked in the house as she was frantically doing all of this. So sorry to disappoint you, but she got out in time! Oh my gosh, she would be soooo embarassed if she knew I was telling you this!

*I have MAJOR shopper's remorse. I have to call my friends and confess so they can absolve me of my shopping sins. But every year, I get spring fever and this year I'm not pregnant so it's especially bad. Let's just say I've bought 6 pairs of shoes already and leave it at that! (However, I got all 6 pairs for under $100 so try to focus on my awesome thriftiness!)

What's new with you?

Blessings

4 years old

Cabin Fever

Cheap thrills. I love 'em. Getting some good ear wax out of my ear (or someone else's) gives me a little rush. Putting on cozy socks, eating ice cream in the middle of the day, filling up an online shopping cart with $4 items of clothing--I can't get enough of them these days. Maybe it's because I have been in my house now for a solid two months, with the exceptional hurried trip on my own to Wal-Mart or Target (just walking through those red automatic doors=biggest cheap thrill EVER,) and I did get to perform in one blissful show. Many parts of the home-body lifestyle are appealing. I have gotten really creative with my pajama wardrobe and have even come up with different ensembles (again, cheap thrills,) I eat all the time, and Tivo and I have become BEST friends. However, there are some days when I really miss my carefree, minivan-setting days. I was wild! I would drive all the way to Provo and shop, go out to lunch, hang out with friends, fight with Ethan all in between, you know, living the life every fabulous twenty-something lives.

Now that I have been homebound, I've felt deprived of all of that. However, last week I had a glorious epiphany. I figured out a way to combine my love of cruising, shopping, and dining without endangering the lives of my preemies. I've discovered the biggest cheap thrill of all: drive-thru excursions. Last Friday, I loaded up everyone in the car and we traveled to Draper to Astro Burger. I got myself a cheeseburger, fries, fry sauce, Coke, and a chocolate-banana shake, and then we turned around and went right back home again. The girls slept, Ethan watched Cars, it was the perfect scenario. I felt refreshed and alive! I couldn't wait to go again! Then, two nights ago, I found an opportunity. Ben called me and informed he would be working late. I felt that tingle of adventure and I exclaimed, "Kids! Grab your coats!" This time, we hit Kneader's in Lindon. But my new-found obsession got the best of me and I sort of went "shopping" at the drive-thru! I ordered two turkey sandwiches, a huge thing of chicken noodle soup, a smoothie, and I kid you not, an ENTIRE raspberry creme pie. I could not even control myself, I was that desperate for excitement. So now I worry that my new-found cheap thrill is going to turn out to be a very expensive rush indeed. For example, you don't even have to tell me twice that Outback Steakhouse has a drive-thru window--believe me, I know it! I'm looking its way right now. But in the mean-time, I need everyone to let me know of THE best drive-thrus around, because I intend to hit every last one of them (and don't even try to tease me by saying Zupa's does, because I know it's not true!) If anyone wants to go with me, feel free! You can come to my house and I'll load you up with everyone else! But please don't take forever to order; I've got pajamas to coordinate and Tivo to watch.