And so I'm asking you to leave. I'm not even going to ask nicely any more. I've said "Please," I've made subtle hints like, "Wow, you've been here a week--I bet you're getting sick of us!" But you just keep on hanging out in the twins' room, messing up the carpets, making me do loads and loads of extra laundry, and eating me out of applesauce and bananas. I never get to go anywhere because I have to entertain you all day and all night long. I can't have friends over because you're such a clinger and it's just embarrassing. I consider myself to be a pretty patient hostess, but I loathe you. So far, you've managed to keep your distance from me and I appreciate that, but if you so much as brush my cheek, I will lose it. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO ANNOY!
And on the way out, try to convince your dude bro, Winter, to leave with you. I know it's futile, because I know from past experience that he's going to stick around for at least three more months. It's hard to believe that we were so looking forward to his visit back in November. He was still the life of the party in December and everyone commented on his good looks all the time, and he's still charming on occasion, but most days, just really hung-over. I still love him, and I'm sure I'll be happy to see him next year. But at the same time, he's the one who introduced me to you, and so I will never forgive him for that.